When we talk about ourselves we often criticize ourselves using should statements. For example, we might say statements like, "I should exercise," "I should attend more twelve step meetings," "I should fill out that job application," "I should be further along in life than I am." When we are saying these statements to ourselves we are ultimately judging ourselves. What is should based on? Why should we be completing these tasks? What is should compared to? Is it based off societal expectations or our families expectations?
There is no such thing as SHOULD.
There is only what we want to do and what we are willing to do. Many times we will make decisions and end up building a life for ourselves based off of other people's expectations and maybe a smudge of fear about what they might think if we do things differently. People will end up married with children without ever considering for themselves if they would like to be married one day or if they would like to become a parent one day. We will just continue to move through the motions of hitting the appropriate milestones based off of societal expectations or our own families expectations.
Let's stop judging ourselves.
Let's start building a life that we are passionate about. Make a list. What do we WANT to do and what are we WILLING to do to get there?